No Sex?

This question has trailed my mind and spirit lately. It would seem an easy question to answer, speaking for myself, based on Christian values of which I subscribe to. However, the obvious fact that in America we are pounded by sex daily in the media makes this difficult even for the Christian to answer; Difficult for me to answer.


This is the one area where I see Christians calling other Christians who call for purity before marriage antiquated. Even if it is not stated verbally it is still professed through action and the idea that we are not accountable to others in this area of our lives.


Saturated and diluted... the more I think about it the more I think sex has become that. Saturation, it would seem, has the possibility to dilute. And in our sex saturated culture we seemed to have diluted something about it or twisted it into something else like a game of scoring… like an adventure to be had for a weekend, but not what it was meant to be.


The truth is… I’m sad tonight. My eyes well up and I cry, because of the disgusted way I’ve twisted this beautiful tool that God has given me and us. I’m sad; because I worry that I might not view sex and may not experience it how it was intended. I know God is a redeemer – he has redeemed me in so many ways within these last few months, but I also know that there are consequences and that my life can still be stained by sin even though I’ve been forgiven of it.


I think it is only within marriage that one can experience real sex. I think only when I am sure of the other person’s commitment and only when the other person is fully secure in my commitment towards her will we both be free enough to experience the full spectrum of sex by giving freely of ourselves to each other knowing that the other desires it and accepts it.


More so, I don’t think authentic sex can happen without two people who know without a doubt that they are for each other wrapped up in reverence to God, weaving their lives together, both humble and accountable to Him… and God may have known that a dynamic like that would not be found unless it was bound by a promise.


In a sense, the measure to which someone is humble towards God can show how committed they might be in a relationship, because humbleness will also bring with it conviction. Conviction then positions the man or woman against themselves faced with a decision. Do they change and humbly go God’s way even though they don’t understand it; Even though the pain to deny thyself is great? Will they try to rationalize what this may be so it’s OK, and just claim a lifetime supply of Grace and be done with it? Or will she/he leave the situation all together and slowly but surely separate from God… or form a twisted post-modern view of God that pictures Him wanting everything and anything that makes them happy – even on moral matters?


So, what is going on in our culture? What is going on within our churches? Why does this abstaining from sex only seem to last until after high school for those that grow up in a church? Do we see this as necessary or optional? Do we see any change God places on our hearts these days as necessary or optional? Will I be able to abstain and not have sex before marriage?


Amy Orr-Ewing has written a good article that I Christ-magically found tonight. If there is any reason to abstain from sex it is because of how wonderful it is.


Because of the beauty of sex; That is, because of the intimacy, tenderness, and openness of it, that is why it was designed by God only for a loving, committed marriage, a covenant, strong enough that only death can break. I like what Amy writes – “In this way, the question of how sex outside marriage could be wrong can be approached by looking at the beauty, intimacy and preciousness of sex (Orr-Ewing, 2006).“


And lately I find that by turning from looking at my dark towards gazing at God’s beauty it frees me from needing answers and provides me the patience I need for those answers to come in time. To posture my heart, mind, and soul into humble worship towards an ever loving and beautiful God and wrapping myself up in that mystery… there not knowing all the answers, I know this... I want to know Him more and more.



My prayer now is to be capable of discerning where I am not in alignment with Gods beauty, then humbly accept His truth and grieve the loss and pain that comes from denying myself... I think it is the flesh that dies and Christ to flourish through that starvation leaving more in me.

Reference
Orr-Ewing, A. (2006). "What's Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?". Retrieved September 26, 2007, from http://www.bethinking.org/resource.php?ID=281

Art "nailed" taken from - http://sex-magic.home.comcast.net/nail.htm

Mozy On Up!

Hey All,

Just a quick note today to tell you about this great new free service that I registered for.

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The free service gives you 2 gig's initially. They will give you another 1 gig per every 4 people that sign up & backup. I don't know about you, but even being a systems administrator I slack-off on system backups at times. Mozy makes it easy and great.

Click here to sign up and give me credit. If you would rather just go to the site mozy.com and sign up my referral code it is PK92WI.

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Once you sign up you can put your own link on your blog and have your friends use it to earn more data space. 2 gigs is a good starting size that should be enough for all your critical documents.

Let's Mozy!

- Justin

When Temptation Comes

When temptation comes, it seizes my mind and takes it on a walk down a street I said before I did not want to go.

With Temptation, hand in hand walking, I turn; looking back on Christ’s glow and the spiritual inner essence of his presence and beauty, the glow starts to fade... dimmer... yet dimmer still.

Then, my head comes back around; I realize that temptation has walked me up to its open and welcoming door.

Voices start moving through my head. First, the Spirit, a silent whisper, "You probably shouldn't be doing this, you can stop this you know. My beauty is better than this.” Then the Flesh, "There is no adrenaline rush, no excitement, no pleasure like this back there. This, right here right now, is what you really want to be doing. You never really understood the whole cake and eat it thing anyway. Why can't you have your cake and eat it too? After all, you have grace right? You can ask for forgiveness afterwards right? So then why not indulge and lean on that later?"

I know the Spirit is right; I have agreed with it in so many other forums before. However, now..., at this point, without praising voices warming over me I am tested. My choice is made by the silence I keep. I Yield to one by dismissing the other: The Spirit's whisper trails off into the back of my mind as I let the Flesh take over.

With one foot already in the air, my body moves through that threshold. Nevertheless, it is not a doorway that my whole self can walk through. No, I must bow. I bow so that I can fit through this door. Still, it is not an easy fit. Something in me is mangled while I contort myself; make myself smaller to crawl through this threshold.

The Spirit cannot fit through that door. The Spirit will not go with me. Moreover, I am left on the other side clinging to that which I thought would give me such pleasure, such joy. However, the pleasure is only sustained as long as the action is sustained and the mind captivated, and the pleasures on that side of temptations door cannot be sustained for very long. They are like cheap fast food and throw away lottery tickets. Gone... in a moment.

If I am lucky, I turn back, search for the doorway I entered through, and realize now how dark temptations room is. A warm bright light is on the other side. I start to crawl towards that light. I am met at the door by the one called the Accuser. The liar of all liars stands by waiting like a bouncer at a club. I can see his gaze as I start to approach. That stare in his eyes forces me to look away. "You don't think you're going through here do you? You have been through this door already before only to return. Why not just stay here? This is where you belong. Sure, pray for forgiveness but stay right here. Even so, you have prayed that prayer before - you know Christ has forgiven you already; do you really need to ask again? You ask so much why do you cheapen His grace? Maybe it is better for you not to ask and not to use His grace this time. Maybe it's good for you to just think on this for awhile and not make a decision now."

This placidness has rotten me to the bone. Tears pool at the bottom of my eyes. Truth shoots through me like a jolt and shocks me out of my slumber. Out of my mouth at the top of my lungs, I yell "Be Gone…, Away from me!" I cry out. "This isn't the way to live it is the way to die!" The accuser leaves for he cannot stand the truth that there is one better than he is. The doorway now unguarded, light shining as a warm blanket welcomes me as I crawl through it. On my knees already, I cry out to The One. "Save me Lord, save me from this wretched cursed flesh. Save me from this pattern of life to death to life to death keeping me immature in spirit."

I hear three words back at me:

Humility
Spirituality
Faithfulness

Originally heard by Ravi Zacharias, they are more pungent now. For it is by humility that I tell the flesh it does not have what I want. It is through the spirit I live so I do not gratify the desires of the flesh and it is by faithfulness that I believe, even through the pain of denying myself pleasure, Jesus is the only way to life.