No Sex?

This question has trailed my mind and spirit lately. It would seem an easy question to answer, speaking for myself, based on Christian values of which I subscribe to. However, the obvious fact that in America we are pounded by sex daily in the media makes this difficult even for the Christian to answer; Difficult for me to answer.


This is the one area where I see Christians calling other Christians who call for purity before marriage antiquated. Even if it is not stated verbally it is still professed through action and the idea that we are not accountable to others in this area of our lives.


Saturated and diluted... the more I think about it the more I think sex has become that. Saturation, it would seem, has the possibility to dilute. And in our sex saturated culture we seemed to have diluted something about it or twisted it into something else like a game of scoring… like an adventure to be had for a weekend, but not what it was meant to be.


The truth is… I’m sad tonight. My eyes well up and I cry, because of the disgusted way I’ve twisted this beautiful tool that God has given me and us. I’m sad; because I worry that I might not view sex and may not experience it how it was intended. I know God is a redeemer – he has redeemed me in so many ways within these last few months, but I also know that there are consequences and that my life can still be stained by sin even though I’ve been forgiven of it.


I think it is only within marriage that one can experience real sex. I think only when I am sure of the other person’s commitment and only when the other person is fully secure in my commitment towards her will we both be free enough to experience the full spectrum of sex by giving freely of ourselves to each other knowing that the other desires it and accepts it.


More so, I don’t think authentic sex can happen without two people who know without a doubt that they are for each other wrapped up in reverence to God, weaving their lives together, both humble and accountable to Him… and God may have known that a dynamic like that would not be found unless it was bound by a promise.


In a sense, the measure to which someone is humble towards God can show how committed they might be in a relationship, because humbleness will also bring with it conviction. Conviction then positions the man or woman against themselves faced with a decision. Do they change and humbly go God’s way even though they don’t understand it; Even though the pain to deny thyself is great? Will they try to rationalize what this may be so it’s OK, and just claim a lifetime supply of Grace and be done with it? Or will she/he leave the situation all together and slowly but surely separate from God… or form a twisted post-modern view of God that pictures Him wanting everything and anything that makes them happy – even on moral matters?


So, what is going on in our culture? What is going on within our churches? Why does this abstaining from sex only seem to last until after high school for those that grow up in a church? Do we see this as necessary or optional? Do we see any change God places on our hearts these days as necessary or optional? Will I be able to abstain and not have sex before marriage?


Amy Orr-Ewing has written a good article that I Christ-magically found tonight. If there is any reason to abstain from sex it is because of how wonderful it is.


Because of the beauty of sex; That is, because of the intimacy, tenderness, and openness of it, that is why it was designed by God only for a loving, committed marriage, a covenant, strong enough that only death can break. I like what Amy writes – “In this way, the question of how sex outside marriage could be wrong can be approached by looking at the beauty, intimacy and preciousness of sex (Orr-Ewing, 2006).“


And lately I find that by turning from looking at my dark towards gazing at God’s beauty it frees me from needing answers and provides me the patience I need for those answers to come in time. To posture my heart, mind, and soul into humble worship towards an ever loving and beautiful God and wrapping myself up in that mystery… there not knowing all the answers, I know this... I want to know Him more and more.



My prayer now is to be capable of discerning where I am not in alignment with Gods beauty, then humbly accept His truth and grieve the loss and pain that comes from denying myself... I think it is the flesh that dies and Christ to flourish through that starvation leaving more in me.

Reference
Orr-Ewing, A. (2006). "What's Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?". Retrieved September 26, 2007, from http://www.bethinking.org/resource.php?ID=281

Art "nailed" taken from - http://sex-magic.home.comcast.net/nail.htm