To get back to the blogging.
So blog world it's been awhile since my last post, a long while. Wow, I guess I just need to put this out here. I really felt energized and like I had something to say 40 minutes ago, but I just put some real thought into a comment I left on Kristen's blog and now am wiped out almost. I'm going to start blogging more though. I've taken a break, but now it's time to get into the swing of things again.
Some quick thoughts:
> I think I'm a Christian Fate-ist.
-- What's that you ask? Well, to put it simply - I'm kind of lazy. However, why am I lazy is the question I ask these days. Also, am I lazy or just thinking I'm lazy? I think I'm not as lazy as I used to be, but am still a little more on the lazy side than I want to be. Lately, though I think I realized that it's because I've been thinking for the longest time that whatever I would do, if I did something, didn't matter, because it's all in God's hands anyway and will turn out like He wants. I know it's true that it will turn out how God wants, but it's also true that if I don't do anything nothing will get done. I mean, I can't just not do anything. Well, I can do nothing, but then nothing is what will happen. It's just so new and weird discovering how much stuff I didn't think worth doing, because I don't think it will matter. It involves a lot of realms of stuff which leads to the next thought.
> I'm a apathy addict
-- Seriously, I am. What causes me to have so much apathy at times? I think it's two-fold. The first being sin and the second being a lack of faith... no, maybe those should be swapped. Anyway, I get in these modes where I don't think anything matters and nothing will change so I don't do anything. I don't do the dishes or the laundry until they've totally built up. This is also true in the summer when I don't mow the lawn for a month and it grows so long. Maybe the problem here is that when I work on something I want to see a big change and when the issue is too large and will take too much time then the half hour or two I can devote to it I lose sight of the goal. Why? ADD? Maybe, but probably not. It's faith. I need to have faith that what I'm doing, no matter how small, matters. Work is worship. I think there are so many realms of worship to God that I don't touch yet, because I've been led to think that worship is only singing. No, I think worship is giving to God that which is hard to do. It's opening your hands when yourself tells them to keep them closed. It's telling a friend you lied to them when you only want to save face. It's doing the job at work really well, because the work is being given to God. It's not gossiping about a really annoying co-worker and you have some really good stuff you could share. It's all that and many others.
So, what am I going to do about these two things? Apathy and Laziness? It's like they are related. Well, one thing that I have done is called off any serious relationships with females for at least a year. Initially, I thought two years, but I'll re-evaluate in January. This will free me up to not even go down those paths of curiosity if a new potential women comes around. That will help to develop a schedule. I don't remember where I saw it, but a free life, is one that is bound to certain habits or a schedule. Some of you may think that doesn't make sense, but when I read it it was right on point so that's good enough for me. But really, I need to be disciplined in my life. I've been thinking I need to write a life mission and vision statement. I've always taken a step back from those before, because I didn't think I could adhere to the plan. Ha! How backwards thinking is that! Anyway, it's time. I'm turning 30 this year. A little more than a month out and the Age-Odometer clicks over. 30. Time to get on getting on. I hope to have this mission and vision stuff developed by the end of the summer. I want to reflect on my journals and stuff within the last year to help write it. I want to journal about certain statements to put in there over and over to make sure that I'm getting it right. Maybe I should do a Justin Constitution and any amendments have to be approved by a 2/3 vote of my friends. OK, now on to getting more friends.
So those are my qwik thoughts for now. I will be sure to update this again soon.
