What I Learned - Memorial Day Weekend 2007

This weekend I found that in a kid, in my son, in that small period of time with him, that time of joy is worth all the pain this world has to offer.

So Here's to joy, here's to hope, and here's to... the elation that comes from things coming to a close. Here's to the beauty of real love and the value that comes from focusing on what matters most. But truly, here's to a great God!

It Through A Waterfall…

I could take matters into my own hands. I could try to stave off the boredom through what I want to do. I could jerk off or I could drink, but that only will bring me loneliness and emptiness in the end. I could just be lazy and not do anything, but I feel like such a waste later and wish I had that time back. It is at times like these that I really can reflect and agree with the fact that Jesus is the only way out. That there are grabs in life that I can make to find my cure for whatever I’m feeling now, but those grabs don’t end up lasting long. They actually put me in a constant state of grabbing for the next desire or salve that it becomes a pattern.

Jesus, on the other hand, wants to give me these things that my heart truly needs. With these gifts come peace and affirmation that He loves me. They are lasting gifts that stay the test of time. I don’t think I’ve felt guilty for anything that God has ever given me. However, often times, with me, it’s hard to weed out what I have given myself and what God has truly given me.

I’m lead to ask the question – why is it that I don’t seek out God’s gifts more? Why do I take matters into my own hands and make grabs for what I think I need, but know won’t last? I think that with God it usually involves something counter-intuitive. Rather, it seems counter-intuitive at first. It’s like walking through a waterfall. It always employs a step of faith through something scary to return something good in the end. The gifts He wants to give us are on the other side of the waterfall. It’s realizing this and making the decision to walk through these waterfalls that we find peace. Crazy I know. Peace comes through courage and action.

But I have come to realize that all my grabs for peace, for the things that I think will bring me comfort come with an expiration date, and to give those up and accept God’s timeline is something like a waterfall to me. Will I go through? Will I find what’s on the other side? The thinking side of me agrees 100% with this, but the other side of me doesn’t want to. I don’t want to give up control for what I think will bring me comfort. And hey, IT DOES BRING ME COMFORT! And, like I said before, that comfort lasts only a short time. Then, I’m back in search for the next thing I think I need while all along missing what God is offering; avoiding the walk through the waterfall.

Today, I’ve decided to walk through something of a waterfall. I could sit here on my couch and watch the cars go by while drinking coffee, taking naps and watching some TV, but I’m going to work on the yard. I’m going to try and find that peace that God wants to give through a good days work. It’s a tough decision for me, because I usually talk myself out of doing things like this. I have this negative pattern in my head that keeps telling me that work, in the end, will add up to nothing. I think more and more that’s a lie, but it’s hard to get the lazy side of my brain to agree. Whilst my fortitude hangs in the balance I must end this post and get on to getting on.